WHaT u DoN'T NeeD 2 KNoW aBouT Me
AL!a$ * V@N!
thestone addict, always looking for a good nudge in the commons, narcissist, kulot, maganda (bwahahahahahah walang kokontra kanya-kanya tayo hokey?), batty, bookworm, nerdy, extremely allergic to math and physics, webhostess/webmistress (wink, wink), best buddies with raven and google (reeeeeally?), trellix site wrecker (hehehe so always recreating them), trying hard na blogger, middlename is LUNA for lunatic or lukaret, know-it-all in training, duwag na nagtatapang-tapangan and i'm paid to surf the net all day every g*dd*mn day!
thestone addict, always looking for a good nudge in the commons, narcissist, kulot, maganda (bwahahahahahah walang kokontra kanya-kanya tayo hokey?), batty, bookworm, nerdy, extremely allergic to math and physics, webhostess/webmistress (wink, wink), best buddies with raven and google (reeeeeally?), trellix site wrecker (hehehe so always recreating them), trying hard na blogger, middlename is LUNA for lunatic or lukaret, know-it-all in training, duwag na nagtatapang-tapangan and i'm paid to surf the net all day every g*dd*mn day!
AGE * TiMeLe$S (i SToPPeD CouNTiNG WHeN i HiT 18)
LOCATION* aLWaYS Lo$T SoMeWHeRe, aT the WoR$T PLaCe @ THe Mo$T iNCoNVeNieNT TiMe
CheCk TheM oUt
TRYiNG 2 GeT MoRe oF
Enjoy
PaST WriTiNGS
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
April 2006
July 2006
on one hand, two of my closest friends are sagitarrians - one of my best friends in highschool and my best friend in college. i seem to get along well with them. my mom is a sagi as well. they tolerate my eccentricities.
this is what i found on the web about arians' relationship with sagittarians. it's from http://www.kamalkapoor.com:
Sagittarius, in relation to Aries, is considered favorable. Both are fire signs, and here we have a combination of Jupiter for Sagittarius and Mars for Aries. Together, this produces expansion, much activity, a reaching out for more, a lack of satisfaction with the status quo.
You seldom do things halfway when you are involved with a Sagittarian. For you, Aries, this association could result in long journeys, including journeys of the mind.
On the negative side, there could be plans too big to be practical. There could be delays. Generally Aries, this is a favorable sign for you.
Your sense of humor improves with Sagittarius. You enjoy travel in the company of Sagittarius. These natives help you expand horizons and are an excellent influence if you desire to write, advertise or publish.
take for example my bestfriend in college, love. my sense of humor definitely improved when i met her. she's definitely
N-U-T-S! if you pester her she'll tell you "garo kamo mga aning!" (you're like aning!) and if you asked her who the heck is aning? she'll roll her yes and tell you, it's the keeper of hell...who else? okay get it? and you go duh... ",> leave it to love to come up with all these kinds of stuff.
as for tin, one of my best girlie buddies in high school, she's more of a calming influence. when you're with her you try to behave like her. on the surface you look like you could do no wrong, but you gotta dig a little deeper =)
as for my mom, oh you now how mothers are. i don't have to go through the details here. it will take all of my blog's space. and i don't want to do that ",>
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today is not so good. i just discovered i lost 1500 bucks. don't know where it went. oh well, life sucks!
because of my persistent dreams about my grandmother. i've been reading about dreams. i came across some topics on the net regarding lucid dreaming. i'm gonna try these exercises. i want to be more in control of my dreams. they seem to be getting out of hand na eh. i don't wanna wake up everyday feeling confuse.
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regardless, i had my hair done yesterday - rebond actually. took more than 7 hours to get it done. if you don't believe that, no point in continuing to read this. it really took that long. i went to the salon about 1pm went home past 7pm.
here's what happended. when we gotthere, they decided to have a draw. they wrote their names down on paper and i get to choose the unlucky hairdresser who would do it. the person i picked up is the person who asked me to choose ",>
some of the people there started to wish him goodluck, you better start pryaing or you need a miracle ",> well i silently wished him all of that too...
now:
i don't recognize my hair - duh! joel says (the guy who did the rebond) told me after it was done - hindi ka nananaginip (you're not dreaming anymore!) haha. SOB...
when my friends ask me why - i tell them my mother had always told me i need to look human again. it doesn't really feel like my hair, so it must be a wig ",)
but seriously, it's not as easy as it looks. i'm sure joel have said enough novenas and repeated the 5 decades of the rosary over and over again. how many times did he pray it? i wonder.
the first thing he applied smelled so bad, he left it on my hair for probably an hour. then he washed my hair, blow dried it, i thought it didn't work coz it's rising with the humidity again. neeways, he "ironed" my hair. then he applied another thing again left it for i don't know how long, washed it again, applied something that smelled like mint, washed it again and then applied the final thing. he "ironed" my hair again and then tada - here i am with this alien thing that seems to be attached miraculously to my scalp. i went out feeling like my brain was overcooked and everything has turned to mush.
i went home tired. even if all i did on that salon was sit. sighhh...
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damn!!!
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Dear Staff:
Please be aware that there have been some minor changes to the Personnel Policy as follows: DRESS CODE: It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing a signature clothing like Guess, Polo, Dockers, Dickies etc. & carrying a Gucci bag or Marithe Francois Girbaud, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. PERSONAL DAYS: Each employee will receive 52 personal days a year. They are called Sunday. VACATION DAYS: All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: January 1 & December 25 and all special and regular holidays. RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical Order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies, employees may swap their time with a co-worker. Both employees' supervisors must approve this exchange in writing. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. LUNCH BREAK: Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
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Favorite day of the week? my rest days!
Favorite sport to watch? any sports as long as it's not boxing!
Favorite ice cream flavor? double dutch, cookies n' cream, anything chocolate
Whom did you get your last email from? my very loyal austrian friend, Eva (what's up gurl!)
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? if i ever decide to have one, powerbooks or national bookstore - to each his own!
What do you do most often when you are bored? surf the net if i'm at the office, at home? i always end up cleaning or doing my laundry
Do you have a bf/gf? both, just kidding ",> i'm certified single
Do you smoke? no, but there are times when i wish i do
Do you drink? occasionally
Are you a player? of alamak and text twist lang ",) (does tht count?) but in all seriousness i'm not
What are your favorite colors? hunter green (isn't it obvious?, i also like blue, black, white and yellow
What is your favorite animal? a dog (i wish i had a rottweiler)
Do you get online a lot? since i'm into webhosting - A LOTTT!!!
Do you hate school? heck... i think i actually miss it!
Do you like to dance? only when no one's watching
Do you like taking pictures? what's not to like?
Do you have a tan? i don't need it
How do you vent your anger? *%#!^$#@+
Do you daydream a lot? not as much as before =>
Are you rude? only with annoying and rude people
What was the last compliment you received? claire says i look thin =)
Describe your looks? i'd rather not ruin my day or anybody's for that matter
Would you ever date someone younger than you? guess not
Would you ever date someone older than you? depends on HOW old... as long as he's not too OLD
How many rings until you answer the phone? if i'm on the floor...sorry na lang sa tumatawag, on rest days...as soon as i locate it from under wherever it ended up after i arrived
Do you look more like your mother or father? FATHER
Do you cry a lot? these past few days - hell yeah...
What do you like most about your body? my feet
What do you like least about your body? my thighs =)
Is your best friend a virgin? i don't wanna ask
Would you marry for money? if i'm practical but i'm not haha!
What do you drive? last time i drove a car - bumper car -enchanted kingdom!
When was the last time you cried in school? geesh that was a long time ago
Would you ever hook up with the same seeex? what!!!
What kind of music do you like? ROCK, R&B
Do you like to party? depende sa company at pag d ako tinatamad lumabas
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i wish i can understand spanish...
Veinte poemas de amor y una canción desesperada
Puedo escribir los versos
XX
Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Escribir, por ejemplo: "La noche está estrellada,y tiritan, azules, los astros, a lo lejos".
El viento de la noche gira en el cielo y canta.
Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Yo la quise, y a veces ella también me quiso.
En las noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos.
La besé tantas veces bajo el cielo infinito.
Ella me quiso, a veces yo también la quería.
Cómo no haber amado sus grandes ojos fijos.
Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Pensar que no la tengo. Sentir que la he perdido.
Oir la noche inmensa, más inmensa sin ella.
Y el verso cae al alma como al pasto el rocío.
Qué importa que mi amor no pudiera guardarla.
La noche está estrellada y ella no está conmigo.
Eso es todo. A lo lejos alguien canta. A lo lejos.
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.
Como para acercarla mi mirada la busca.
Mi corazón la busca, y ella no está conmigo.
La misma noche que hace blanquear los mismos árboles.
Nosotros, los de entonces, ya no somos los mismos.
Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero cuánto la quise.
Mi voz buscaba el viento para tocar su oído.
De otro. Será de otro. Como antes de mis besos.
Su voz, su cuerpo claro. Sus ojos infinitos.
Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero.
Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido.
Porque en noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos,
mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.
Aunque éste sea el último dolor que ella me causa,
y éstos sean los últimos versos que yo le escribo.
buti na lang may translation sa english...
Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair
Tonight I Can Write
XX
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write for example, 'The night is shatteredand the blue stars shiver in the distance.'
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another's. She will be another's. Like before my kisses.Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer and these the last verses that I write for her.
*
it was past 7pm and we were on the phone with mom and everyone back home - exchanging valentine greetings and what-have-yous. it was probably a few minutes before the call ended when the bomb exploded. my sister says she thought she heard something that sounded like thunder. she thought something heavy on the second floor must've fallen to the floor. well i was talking to my mom, the mall was noisy and i was in a nook where the phone was. i was oblivious to whatever was around me except the conversation i was having with my mother. we said our goodbyes to mom and walked out of that nook. we haven't even taken our third step when we saw people running from the direction of sm ayala. we were like "what the hell is going on?" we stared for a few seconds walked off again and stared again. Heck it's going to become a stampede! and i saw one lady fell (my sister later said that the lady was holding a kid - poor little one)and one guy who was running and who wasn't looking at where he's going at all (he was looking back) stumbled over the lady that was already on the floor. so i decided this can't be good, i dragged my sister (who was still staring at the throng of people coming from that direction) into one store and the guard noticing the commotion outside closed the door. we waited for just a few mintues for the crowd of panicked people to pass and went out of the store. some of the people are now on the second level of the mall. i decided to go home now,most of the stores are closing anyway or looked like they were closed because the store personnels closed it when the thing happened. we went out of glorietta not knowing what happened.
when we were about to crossed the street that's between landmark and the ayala terminal, an fx with a loadful of bleeding people passed by. so it was bad. we still didn't know what the raucus was all about until we got to pasong tamo, our jeepney driver mentioned something to the traffic enforcer about the queue of people at the ayala terminal and the traffic there and the guy said a bus near the ayala mrt station exploded. and we were like "ohhh...."
it's a good thing my sister decided against going to libis that day. she felt a little lazy. her boss wanted her to do some "cold can" there but my sister decided against it. good thing because if she did, we would usually agree to meet in glorietta or landmark. so she would either take the mrt or the bus and she'd go down at that station and - KABOOM - if you're at the wrong pLAce at th wrong. thank God for angels... and the right amount of laziness at the most convenient time.
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we're going iron-hunting tomorrow. or else we'll both go to work being chase by a plantsa ",>
tomorrow is valentines day. well it's a regular day for me. nothing special except am gonna go look for a new iron. darn it, i'm never gonna be able to buy a ref. just when i have the money something always comes up.
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That night when i got home and was reading the entertainment section of the sunday issue of the manila bulletin, imagine my shock when i saw angel's picture there! There was an article about him. Turns out he's included in a movie that's going to come out this month, i think. it's kind of spooky. My sister and i can't believe these coincidences. I was going to actually ignore everything, chalk it up ot having an overtly active subconscious, until i saw cathy's invitation in friendster and now here he is. I can't wait to see the other character... what a riot! My sister was asking me "what if you suddenly bumped into him in glorietta?" i'd probably high tail it out of there and maybe just go malling in market market, wouldn't you?
my aunt called that same night. i think my dream spooked her and she's all alone there. i felt bad telling her about it because at least when i'm scared my sister is here now. she's all alone there.
it's a sad dream. i don't want to talk about it anymore. i promised myself that will be last time i'd talk about it. crying is so draining and it's even more frustrating when you don't know what to do about it and if you ever do- how to go about doing it. after talking to her i promise to send the details through email. and so i will and thoughts on what it could mean. that's going to be the hard part. understatement.
friendster is blocked again here at the office. i still wake up at around 4 am. so what else is new?
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i found this short piece that was sent by a reader (mirasol enriquez) of the inquirer. i'm not sure what the name of the column was or the exact date it was posted (that happens when you just tear out a page of a newspaper) but it's a nice peice so here it is:
"People come into your life FOR A REASON, A SEASON, OR A LIFETIME.
When someone is in your life for A REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem to be God-sent...well, they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met; our desires, fulfilled; their work is done. Your prayer has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for A SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn with them. They bring you an experience of peace or they make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons - those that would give you solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other areas of your life.
So for those who pass into my life, Thank you for being a part of my life - whether you're meant for A REASON, A SEASON or A LIFETIME."
*
ever since that dream i've been waking up at the oddest times in the morning. my body clock is so way out of synch. today i woke up 4:47am according to the time in my cellphone (which is advanced by 34 or 36 minutes - i do that as a precaution of not getting to work late. it's like cheating yourself...a self deception of sorts to force myself to move faster than usual). the other day it was 3:53am. that was the earliest. some days i just don't look at the clock knowing it's probably around 4 in the morning.
once i wake up my mind would go on automatic recall of the dream and it would take me some time to sleep again. you may say at least i wake up early... well the problem is it's just way to early...
i checked friendster today and the weirdest thing was catherine T. the girl in my dream who was separated with willie is requesting me to add her to my friendster list! i did... i don't wanna risk incurring the wrath of the fates.
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i called my mom when i got home from work on the 31st of january. i've had no time to call since we changed schedules and it's been pretty hectic. queueing every darn day.
i called her from my cellphone. and since i go home past 9pm these days (new sked), ayen had to go to our house that late so that she can lend auntie len's cp to my mother. nataranta siguro si auntie len because i was so insistent. ayen said there's some sicko traipsing about our street so auntie len won't let her go to our house. but she said she'll wait for a few minutes and set out to our house, which she did.
once i started talking about it i started crying. mom said dinadalaw lang daw ako ni lola... and so does my father (because i was probably hysterical then - it was a very sad dream, and using that word is an understatement). well it's a visit of sorts... but this dream is different. it's not happy at all, at all! i kept saying Ma the house doesn't have a door and she doesn't want to have the windows closed! ano ba nangyayari dyan sa naga? it's making some people up there very unhappy.
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BR@!N SQueeZe
(sarcasm and cynism galore)
"I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."
Margaret Thatcher, in Observer April 4, 1989
Margaret Thatcher, in Observer April 4, 1989
i don't know who said this but i agree:
"Hell is empty and all the devils are here."
"Lately, I have come to believe that the principle difference between heaven and hell is the company you keep there."
-- Simon Illyan, from A Civil Campaign by L.M. Bujold
from The Devil's Dictionary by the ultimate cynic Ambrose Bierce :
"Patience: a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue."
"Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country."
"Politics: The conduct of public affairs for private advantage."
"Bride, n.: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her."
"Lawyer, n.: One skilled in the circumvention of the law."
"Year, n.: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments."
"Pleasure, n.: The least hateful form of dejection."
"Reverence: the spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man."
"Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."
"Corporation, n.: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility."
"Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion."
"Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to."
"Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."
"Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen."
"Quotation, n.: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another."
"Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)"
"Brain, n.: an apparatus with which we think we think."
"Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others."
"Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic."
"Politics, n.: Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles."
"There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know."
"Politeness, n.: The most acceptable hypocrisy."
"Truth: An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance."
"Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence."
"Love, n.: A temporary insanity curable by marriage."
"Egotist, n.: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me."
from Mark Twain:
"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."
"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
from Voltaire:
"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him."
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WHaT'S oN MY SH3LF???
The 8th Commandment by Lawrence Sanders
Lawrence Sander's book: Timothy's Game
Sunday, February 27, 2005
i was born an aries. i guess that accounts for my bullheadedness. i have the same birthday as my mom's old boss, who went AWOL, went TNT in the states and current whereabout is unknown. i also have the same birthday with a classmate in college who has a serious need to have his head examined or at least the screws tightened.on one hand, two of my closest friends are sagitarrians - one of my best friends in highschool and my best friend in college. i seem to get along well with them. my mom is a sagi as well. they tolerate my eccentricities.
this is what i found on the web about arians' relationship with sagittarians. it's from http://www.kamalkapoor.com:
Sagittarius, in relation to Aries, is considered favorable. Both are fire signs, and here we have a combination of Jupiter for Sagittarius and Mars for Aries. Together, this produces expansion, much activity, a reaching out for more, a lack of satisfaction with the status quo.
You seldom do things halfway when you are involved with a Sagittarian. For you, Aries, this association could result in long journeys, including journeys of the mind.
On the negative side, there could be plans too big to be practical. There could be delays. Generally Aries, this is a favorable sign for you.
Your sense of humor improves with Sagittarius. You enjoy travel in the company of Sagittarius. These natives help you expand horizons and are an excellent influence if you desire to write, advertise or publish.
take for example my bestfriend in college, love. my sense of humor definitely improved when i met her. she's definitely
N-U-T-S! if you pester her she'll tell you "garo kamo mga aning!" (you're like aning!) and if you asked her who the heck is aning? she'll roll her yes and tell you, it's the keeper of hell...who else? okay get it? and you go duh... ",> leave it to love to come up with all these kinds of stuff.
as for tin, one of my best girlie buddies in high school, she's more of a calming influence. when you're with her you try to behave like her. on the surface you look like you could do no wrong, but you gotta dig a little deeper =)
as for my mom, oh you now how mothers are. i don't have to go through the details here. it will take all of my blog's space. and i don't want to do that ",>
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Friday, February 25, 2005
trying to sleep while waiting for jack to get here. working on a legal holiday, the anniversary of EDSA. does that make me unpatriotic? oh well, the government takes off a chunk of my pay anyway for tax. so scr*w them.*
Thursday, February 24, 2005
i was going to update this yesterday but never got around to doing it. had a dream of lala again but in this dream i cannot capture any prevalent emotion. there are 3 people in my dream, my sister and I, and then lala dad. it was morning, setting is the shoe box we live in here. she took out this blue sack which had our trash because flies were swarming over it. a horde of big black flies and they were buzzzing like crazy. she placed it outside, it doesn't look like the hallway of where we live but anyway it was outside our room. when i went out i saw the sack being attacked by all those flies. i remember that the buzzing is really loud, quite disturbing but it's understandable because of their number -the floor looked like a black goo spilled over it because of them. they're not just concentrated on the sack also around the perimeter of the sack down by the floor and qite near our door. i decided to close it. you have to understand there were a lot of them. and they were attacking the sack like crazy. i don't ever remember feeling scared or disgusted. i don't even remember what the trash smelled like. i guess you don't have that kind of sensory perception in your dreams. i just remember closing it. but i don't remember if by sealing the sack ( i did it by just pulling the top down) deterred the flies because the dream seemed to have stopped there. i don't remember anymore.today is not so good. i just discovered i lost 1500 bucks. don't know where it went. oh well, life sucks!
because of my persistent dreams about my grandmother. i've been reading about dreams. i came across some topics on the net regarding lucid dreaming. i'm gonna try these exercises. i want to be more in control of my dreams. they seem to be getting out of hand na eh. i don't wanna wake up everyday feeling confuse.
*
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
there are some things so onerous i don't do them unless there's a gun pointed at my temple. things like going to the dentist and having my hair cut or whatever... they're both traumatic experiences - painful and one way or the other something's gonna get itself pulled out.regardless, i had my hair done yesterday - rebond actually. took more than 7 hours to get it done. if you don't believe that, no point in continuing to read this. it really took that long. i went to the salon about 1pm went home past 7pm.
here's what happended. when we gotthere, they decided to have a draw. they wrote their names down on paper and i get to choose the unlucky hairdresser who would do it. the person i picked up is the person who asked me to choose ",>
some of the people there started to wish him goodluck, you better start pryaing or you need a miracle ",> well i silently wished him all of that too...
now:
i don't recognize my hair - duh! joel says (the guy who did the rebond) told me after it was done - hindi ka nananaginip (you're not dreaming anymore!) haha. SOB...
when my friends ask me why - i tell them my mother had always told me i need to look human again. it doesn't really feel like my hair, so it must be a wig ",)
but seriously, it's not as easy as it looks. i'm sure joel have said enough novenas and repeated the 5 decades of the rosary over and over again. how many times did he pray it? i wonder.
the first thing he applied smelled so bad, he left it on my hair for probably an hour. then he washed my hair, blow dried it, i thought it didn't work coz it's rising with the humidity again. neeways, he "ironed" my hair. then he applied another thing again left it for i don't know how long, washed it again, applied something that smelled like mint, washed it again and then applied the final thing. he "ironed" my hair again and then tada - here i am with this alien thing that seems to be attached miraculously to my scalp. i went out feeling like my brain was overcooked and everything has turned to mush.
i went home tired. even if all i did on that salon was sit. sighhh...
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Monday, February 21, 2005
this is a terrible day! lots of long calls! miva and domain stacking arrgggh!!!! so much for my aht and qa... hello abay!damn!!!
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Saturday, February 19, 2005
this was posted by gwen sa bulletin board in friendster, maybe some of us here can relate hahaha!Dear Staff:
Please be aware that there have been some minor changes to the Personnel Policy as follows: DRESS CODE: It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing a signature clothing like Guess, Polo, Dockers, Dickies etc. & carrying a Gucci bag or Marithe Francois Girbaud, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. PERSONAL DAYS: Each employee will receive 52 personal days a year. They are called Sunday. VACATION DAYS: All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: January 1 & December 25 and all special and regular holidays. RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical Order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies, employees may swap their time with a co-worker. Both employees' supervisors must approve this exchange in writing. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. LUNCH BREAK: Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
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Friday, February 18, 2005
Message:Favorite day of the week? my rest days!
Favorite sport to watch? any sports as long as it's not boxing!
Favorite ice cream flavor? double dutch, cookies n' cream, anything chocolate
Whom did you get your last email from? my very loyal austrian friend, Eva (what's up gurl!)
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? if i ever decide to have one, powerbooks or national bookstore - to each his own!
What do you do most often when you are bored? surf the net if i'm at the office, at home? i always end up cleaning or doing my laundry
Do you have a bf/gf? both, just kidding ",> i'm certified single
Do you smoke? no, but there are times when i wish i do
Do you drink? occasionally
Are you a player? of alamak and text twist lang ",) (does tht count?) but in all seriousness i'm not
What are your favorite colors? hunter green (isn't it obvious?, i also like blue, black, white and yellow
What is your favorite animal? a dog (i wish i had a rottweiler)
Do you get online a lot? since i'm into webhosting - A LOTTT!!!
Do you hate school? heck... i think i actually miss it!
Do you like to dance? only when no one's watching
Do you like taking pictures? what's not to like?
Do you have a tan? i don't need it
How do you vent your anger? *%#!^$#@+
Do you daydream a lot? not as much as before =>
Are you rude? only with annoying and rude people
What was the last compliment you received? claire says i look thin =)
Describe your looks? i'd rather not ruin my day or anybody's for that matter
Would you ever date someone younger than you? guess not
Would you ever date someone older than you? depends on HOW old... as long as he's not too OLD
How many rings until you answer the phone? if i'm on the floor...sorry na lang sa tumatawag, on rest days...as soon as i locate it from under wherever it ended up after i arrived
Do you look more like your mother or father? FATHER
Do you cry a lot? these past few days - hell yeah...
What do you like most about your body? my feet
What do you like least about your body? my thighs =)
Is your best friend a virgin? i don't wanna ask
Would you marry for money? if i'm practical but i'm not haha!
What do you drive? last time i drove a car - bumper car -enchanted kingdom!
When was the last time you cried in school? geesh that was a long time ago
Would you ever hook up with the same seeex? what!!!
What kind of music do you like? ROCK, R&B
Do you like to party? depende sa company at pag d ako tinatamad lumabas
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Thursday, February 17, 2005
one of my classmates intoduced me to neruda's work. this piece has always been my favorite.i wish i can understand spanish...
Veinte poemas de amor y una canción desesperada
Puedo escribir los versos
XX
Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Escribir, por ejemplo: "La noche está estrellada,y tiritan, azules, los astros, a lo lejos".
El viento de la noche gira en el cielo y canta.
Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Yo la quise, y a veces ella también me quiso.
En las noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos.
La besé tantas veces bajo el cielo infinito.
Ella me quiso, a veces yo también la quería.
Cómo no haber amado sus grandes ojos fijos.
Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Pensar que no la tengo. Sentir que la he perdido.
Oir la noche inmensa, más inmensa sin ella.
Y el verso cae al alma como al pasto el rocío.
Qué importa que mi amor no pudiera guardarla.
La noche está estrellada y ella no está conmigo.
Eso es todo. A lo lejos alguien canta. A lo lejos.
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.
Como para acercarla mi mirada la busca.
Mi corazón la busca, y ella no está conmigo.
La misma noche que hace blanquear los mismos árboles.
Nosotros, los de entonces, ya no somos los mismos.
Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero cuánto la quise.
Mi voz buscaba el viento para tocar su oído.
De otro. Será de otro. Como antes de mis besos.
Su voz, su cuerpo claro. Sus ojos infinitos.
Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero.
Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido.
Porque en noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos,
mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.
Aunque éste sea el último dolor que ella me causa,
y éstos sean los últimos versos que yo le escribo.
buti na lang may translation sa english...
Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair
Tonight I Can Write
XX
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write for example, 'The night is shatteredand the blue stars shiver in the distance.'
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another's. She will be another's. Like before my kisses.Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer and these the last verses that I write for her.
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Tuesday, February 15, 2005
it was a scary valentine's day. a bomb planted inside a bus by the ayala mrt station exploded killing 3 passengers and wounding others. my sister and i were in glorietta at that time. we wouldn't be there at all if one of us didn't break the bloody iron! (guess who?) so we decided to buy a new one. otherwise, we'd both go to work wearing un-ironed clothes. we would have gone to sm if i didn't remember there's an anson ( at first i thought it was abenson - oh well) on the third floor of the landmark. good thing there was because - well it would have been traumatic if we were in sm. after securing an iron, we decided to call mom so we went to glorietta.it was past 7pm and we were on the phone with mom and everyone back home - exchanging valentine greetings and what-have-yous. it was probably a few minutes before the call ended when the bomb exploded. my sister says she thought she heard something that sounded like thunder. she thought something heavy on the second floor must've fallen to the floor. well i was talking to my mom, the mall was noisy and i was in a nook where the phone was. i was oblivious to whatever was around me except the conversation i was having with my mother. we said our goodbyes to mom and walked out of that nook. we haven't even taken our third step when we saw people running from the direction of sm ayala. we were like "what the hell is going on?" we stared for a few seconds walked off again and stared again. Heck it's going to become a stampede! and i saw one lady fell (my sister later said that the lady was holding a kid - poor little one)and one guy who was running and who wasn't looking at where he's going at all (he was looking back) stumbled over the lady that was already on the floor. so i decided this can't be good, i dragged my sister (who was still staring at the throng of people coming from that direction) into one store and the guard noticing the commotion outside closed the door. we waited for just a few mintues for the crowd of panicked people to pass and went out of the store. some of the people are now on the second level of the mall. i decided to go home now,most of the stores are closing anyway or looked like they were closed because the store personnels closed it when the thing happened. we went out of glorietta not knowing what happened.
when we were about to crossed the street that's between landmark and the ayala terminal, an fx with a loadful of bleeding people passed by. so it was bad. we still didn't know what the raucus was all about until we got to pasong tamo, our jeepney driver mentioned something to the traffic enforcer about the queue of people at the ayala terminal and the traffic there and the guy said a bus near the ayala mrt station exploded. and we were like "ohhh...."
it's a good thing my sister decided against going to libis that day. she felt a little lazy. her boss wanted her to do some "cold can" there but my sister decided against it. good thing because if she did, we would usually agree to meet in glorietta or landmark. so she would either take the mrt or the bus and she'd go down at that station and - KABOOM - if you're at the wrong pLAce at th wrong. thank God for angels... and the right amount of laziness at the most convenient time.
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Sunday, February 13, 2005
sunday again. last friday i broke my iron. g**dammit! now i have to buy a new one. i never did got to email my aunt. it's still saved as draft in my mail client here. never got around to finishing it.we're going iron-hunting tomorrow. or else we'll both go to work being chase by a plantsa ",>
tomorrow is valentines day. well it's a regular day for me. nothing special except am gonna go look for a new iron. darn it, i'm never gonna be able to buy a ref. just when i have the money something always comes up.
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Tuesday, February 08, 2005
on my last entry it started with "another saturday...etc" when it was sunday already!!! i didn't realized it until i got home and i thought what the hell it's sunday today. tomorrow is my day off!" i must've been very preoccupied.That night when i got home and was reading the entertainment section of the sunday issue of the manila bulletin, imagine my shock when i saw angel's picture there! There was an article about him. Turns out he's included in a movie that's going to come out this month, i think. it's kind of spooky. My sister and i can't believe these coincidences. I was going to actually ignore everything, chalk it up ot having an overtly active subconscious, until i saw cathy's invitation in friendster and now here he is. I can't wait to see the other character... what a riot! My sister was asking me "what if you suddenly bumped into him in glorietta?" i'd probably high tail it out of there and maybe just go malling in market market, wouldn't you?
my aunt called that same night. i think my dream spooked her and she's all alone there. i felt bad telling her about it because at least when i'm scared my sister is here now. she's all alone there.
it's a sad dream. i don't want to talk about it anymore. i promised myself that will be last time i'd talk about it. crying is so draining and it's even more frustrating when you don't know what to do about it and if you ever do- how to go about doing it. after talking to her i promise to send the details through email. and so i will and thoughts on what it could mean. that's going to be the hard part. understatement.
friendster is blocked again here at the office. i still wake up at around 4 am. so what else is new?
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Sunday, February 06, 2005
another saturday, another day at work. another chance to update my blog.i found this short piece that was sent by a reader (mirasol enriquez) of the inquirer. i'm not sure what the name of the column was or the exact date it was posted (that happens when you just tear out a page of a newspaper) but it's a nice peice so here it is:
"People come into your life FOR A REASON, A SEASON, OR A LIFETIME.
When someone is in your life for A REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem to be God-sent...well, they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met; our desires, fulfilled; their work is done. Your prayer has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for A SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn with them. They bring you an experience of peace or they make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons - those that would give you solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other areas of your life.
So for those who pass into my life, Thank you for being a part of my life - whether you're meant for A REASON, A SEASON or A LIFETIME."
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Saturday, February 05, 2005
yesterday was allan's and ate rose's birthday. i texted them my greetings. the former was quiet as usual and the latter was surprised i even remembered. ate jo and ate ange dropped by for a few hours while they waited for the two kuya eds ",> it's so pathetic when people dropped in on you and you're doing your laundry especially at 8 or so in the evening. oh well, somebody has got to do it.ever since that dream i've been waking up at the oddest times in the morning. my body clock is so way out of synch. today i woke up 4:47am according to the time in my cellphone (which is advanced by 34 or 36 minutes - i do that as a precaution of not getting to work late. it's like cheating yourself...a self deception of sorts to force myself to move faster than usual). the other day it was 3:53am. that was the earliest. some days i just don't look at the clock knowing it's probably around 4 in the morning.
once i wake up my mind would go on automatic recall of the dream and it would take me some time to sleep again. you may say at least i wake up early... well the problem is it's just way to early...
i checked friendster today and the weirdest thing was catherine T. the girl in my dream who was separated with willie is requesting me to add her to my friendster list! i did... i don't wanna risk incurring the wrath of the fates.
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Wednesday, February 02, 2005
my first year working for PS. uneventful, went home late because i had one long last call.i called my mom when i got home from work on the 31st of january. i've had no time to call since we changed schedules and it's been pretty hectic. queueing every darn day.
i called her from my cellphone. and since i go home past 9pm these days (new sked), ayen had to go to our house that late so that she can lend auntie len's cp to my mother. nataranta siguro si auntie len because i was so insistent. ayen said there's some sicko traipsing about our street so auntie len won't let her go to our house. but she said she'll wait for a few minutes and set out to our house, which she did.
once i started talking about it i started crying. mom said dinadalaw lang daw ako ni lola... and so does my father (because i was probably hysterical then - it was a very sad dream, and using that word is an understatement). well it's a visit of sorts... but this dream is different. it's not happy at all, at all! i kept saying Ma the house doesn't have a door and she doesn't want to have the windows closed! ano ba nangyayari dyan sa naga? it's making some people up there very unhappy.
for whatever reason, she wants the windows open no matter how windy. figuratively speaking at the rate things are going on down there when i was there before christmas, it makes sense. but i wish this was somebody's dream. partly because well mabigat dalhin and the other part was guilt for letting her down. there are smaller parts but its inconsequential",> ayoko maging seryoso...maiiyak lang ako. drama
my mom said she will offer a mass for lala. i told her that maybe lala doesn't like what's happening now. we are driftng apart. words that have been said can never be taken back. so be careful of what you say.
thinking about this just drains me up of my energy and palls my day. makes you wish you never grew up. what a very childish comment...
i should be writing about my first year here in PS especially when I never thought i'd last his long. the first few weeks were pure agony. i had to drag my feet to ayala ave. then to the 32nd floor and i flinch everytime the phone beeps. i've learned so much since then. oh well, you know what they say - what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. this is for the webhost manila techies especially batch 1. we've come a long way - take a bow people!
i wonder where i'll find myself next year. another place i hope...
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