lost... even with a compass

The Girl
WHaT u DoN'T NeeD 2 KNoW aBouT Me

AL!a$ * V@N!
thestone addict, always looking for a good nudge in the commons, narcissist, kulot, maganda (bwahahahahahah walang kokontra kanya-kanya tayo hokey?), batty, bookworm, nerdy, extremely allergic to math and physics, webhostess/webmistress (wink, wink), best buddies with raven and google (reeeeeally?), trellix site wrecker (hehehe so always recreating them), trying hard na blogger, middlename is LUNA for lunatic or lukaret, know-it-all in training, duwag na nagtatapang-tapangan and i'm paid to surf the net all day every g*dd*mn day!

AGE * TiMeLe$S (i SToPPeD CouNTiNG WHeN i HiT 18)

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December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 April 2006 July 2006

Doodleboard

BR@!N SQueeZe

(sarcasm and cynism galore)

"I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."
Margaret Thatcher, in Observer April 4, 1989

i don't know who said this but i agree:
"Hell is empty and all the devils are here."

"Lately, I have come to believe that the principle difference between heaven and hell is the company you keep there."
-- Simon Illyan, from A Civil Campaign by L.M. Bujold

from The Devil's Dictionary by the ultimate cynic Ambrose Bierce :
"Patience: a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue."
"Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country."
"Politics: The conduct of public affairs for private advantage."
"Bride, n.: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her."
"Lawyer, n.: One skilled in the circumvention of the law."
"Year, n.: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments."
"Pleasure, n.: The least hateful form of dejection."
"Reverence: the spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man."
"Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."
"Corporation, n.: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility."
"Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion."
"Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to."
"Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."
"Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen."
"Quotation, n.: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another."
"Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)"
"Brain, n.: an apparatus with which we think we think."
"Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others."
"Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic."
"Politics, n.: Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles."
"There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know."
"Politeness, n.: The most acceptable hypocrisy."
"Truth: An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance."
"Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence."
"Love, n.: A temporary insanity curable by marriage."
"Egotist, n.: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me."

from Mark Twain:
"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."
"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."

from Voltaire:
"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him."

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WHaT'S oN MY SH3LF???

The 8th Commandment by Lawrence Sanders

Read it and loved it. Go ahead and meet Dunk, yeah that's the protagonist's nickie

Lawrence Sander's book: Timothy's Game

Saturday, March 05, 2005

last thursday i read the book beware the night by ralph sarchie. finished the book on the same day. it's mainly about possession (the worst kind) and exorcism. it's one spooky book and powerful enough to make me decide to pray the rosary everynight from then on. i've had goosebumps from start to finish.

if there's one thing that book affirmed for me. i'm glad i was born catholic and still is catholic - albeit not a good one. but i'm glad i am.

ok so the church may not be perfect (it's ruled by men - what do you expect?). but it's the best religion for me. i'm not even religious - remotely (i work on sundays). my mom says my god is money. that's not really so true, i just have a rotten schedule. i work on weekends, reluctantly. ok so not a good excuse.

sarchie is a cop and also sidelines as an exorcist. what he wrote in that book is humbling. if you ever had any doubt about God or Christ, that book will erase that for you. demons are afraid of Jesus, the first exorcist. you will notice how demons in the book cower or answer when they say Jesus' name. they're really scared of him. sarchie and his friend joe assist bishop mckenna during exorcisms. or sometimes he and his friend joe plus other members of his group do the exorcism themselves. they do a black fast before any exorcism to prepare themselves.

there was a case of a demon which they found out to be ancient. while they were exorcising the man he possessed, he said to christ on the crucifix, you weren't suppose to die and to the Virgin Mary you weren't suppose to say yes. the man possessed by this demon has undergone 7 or 8 exorcisms. they can't purge him out. he was really strong. the person he possessed can even take communion. so they know that the demon is not only ancient, it's strong as well.

the problem with failed exorcisms is that it's like a curse on the exorcist. according to sarchie everytime september would come which was when they exorcised the man, life gets hard. he nearly lost his friendship with his best friend joe and nearly got divorce. what kept his relationships together is prayer. there was also a nun who helped during a previous exorcism of this man, she left the convent. sarchie said that it's because the devil hates us humans so much (even his followers), so you gotta have faith that you can get through this. faith hope charity/love...you need these.

and even if you died during possession or because somebody cursed you, your soul wouldn't end up in hell simply since you did not surrender your soul to the devil. the only time it will is if you agreed or gave it up to the being down under. father malachi martin told sarchie that if he ever enountered total/full possession (wherein the person agreed to give his sould to the devil), he has to run like hell.

not all priest can perform exorcisms. and neither can it be performed instantly. it requires investigation. they need to know if it's just something that a trip to the pychiatrist can cure or if not how strong the demon they would have to be dealing with.

exorcism takes it's toll not only on the victim but also on the person doing or helping the exorcism. because for sure the devil will lash out on the people who drove him out in the name of Christ. these people's lives are never the same. it's like you're being constantly tested - your faith, your relationships (family, friends etc). and sometimes the demons haunting the victims would visit the exorcists at their homes as well and terrorize their family. it was i think st. augustine who said that thought is substance. so sarchie says he tries not to think of this Work when he's at home. because when you think of the devil - oh well you're courting disaster. it's like prayer, when you pray to God you're thoughts/prayers link you to Him. so even if you're on your lowest point and feel like God abandoned you, PRAY. thought is substance. am sure he can hear you.

how to distinguish if it's just a ghost or a demon? ghost can only move objects and to move a bigger heavier object it would need a lot of ghosts pooling their energy together. they can't make things (big/heavy things) disappear and reappear. when it starts to do that, chances, you have yourself a demon or something inhuman. and if it can manipulate holy objects, it's a very strong one.

we've always heard of the triple 6 being associated with satanism. oh well this book said the #3 is actually the demon's calling card. the witching hour according to sarchie starts at 3am demons like to do things in reverse. christ died at 3pm and we have 3 persons in the trinity. you would hear 3 knocks on your door and when you open it, of course there's no one there. 3 scratches - mostly in threes. so it's something they look out for.

and want to know why you need to go to confession? it's because once God has already forgiven your sins. the devil can't hurl them against you. he wouldn't know about them at all. it's forgiven. the same way that we acknowledge that there is heaven, we must also believe that there is hell. the more we deny that the devil doesn't exist, the stronger he becomes.

after reading that book, i prayed the rosary that night. when i went to sleep, i experienced something that happened to me before. it's where you thought you're asleep but it's like you're eyes are open. i can see everything in the room. but i cna't move anyhting. and i can hear continous buzzing and it felt like something is trying to sit on my head. what i did as usual is pray the our father and prayed to st. michael for good measure because we all know he fought demons. One time this happened to me, it was so long i nearly finished a decade or two of the rosary and the other time i felt like someone or something was choking me, i was having difficulty breathing. these episodes will always be accompanied by a sort of noisy buzzing and not being able to move any part of my body. i can't scream or talk. and when i tried waking up, sometimes i felt like i woke up already because i find myself walking around our house or our room but then i would suddenly "wake up" and find out i never left the bed at all. and that actually i just "woke up!" weird... so this episode was not as long as the past episodes and the first time it ever happened to me since i moved here. it was probably brought up by my reading of that book. i would usually have these episodes when my body is very tired, i guess it makes our mind susceptible to things like these.

some people are simply born for this kind of noble Work. it requires an unwavering faith and strenght of will. this book has made hell more of a reality for me; as real as heaven. it is however incomprehensible how some people can turn over their souls to the devil. why on God's green earth would they do that???

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